I was sitting outside this morning, staring into the sky and contemplating how we’re all made from carbon, and carbon is created in the stars, so we really are stardust. Buck was sitting across me but I don’t know what he was doing. I think he was reading the newspaper. Then the dog grabbed a mourning dove and started killing it and we had to jump up and run across the backyard in our bare feet, stepping on cactus spines and jagged pine cones to chase after the dog and I only got him to let go of the bird when I threw a heavy, hardback copy of The Chicago Manual of Style at him to stun him long enough to get him in a strangle hold and throw him down on the ground while Buck was shouting and inadvertently throwing rocks at us both. The dove crawled into the bushes and I dragged the dog into the house and threw him into his pen and locked the door.
I returned to my seat and tried to forget about the dove in the bushes and get my head back to the place where we’re all stardust and I just couldn’t. So I limped out (I pulled a calf muscle during the mad dash) and retrieved my Chicago Manual of Style from the desert and opened an article to copyedit. I think Buck tried to erase it from his head by hiding in his office and reading the latest news on TMZ.
Jeebus. I hate it when the day starts like this.
OMG, such sacrilege – not the dog mutilating the mourning dove, but turning CMOS into a weapon! Oh, wait, it is a weapon. A weapon of words, for copyeditors. LOL. I need more coffee. Or carbon. Or stardust. Ya, that’s it. Stardust. Pixie dust?
I’m assuming this wasn’t Stella doing that bad thing to the birdy.
What a shame the dog had to disturb your beautiful reverie on the origins of the denser elements of which we and our planet are constructed! (Nice Hubble photo there! I keep seeing a creepy alien face in that nebula cloud.)
I bet the dog was thinking along the lines of “those EFFING doves are getting MY Pedigree! KILL KILL!!” And, since the doves are so stupid and annoying anyway, he was probably trying to do you a favor by attacking them. Next time I’d let the dog go ahead and have a dove. You might get to hear him say “Mmmm, tastes like chicken!”. Or not.
Oh and thanks a bunch for JEEBUS! I am born again and again, etcetera. I always KNEW that Crust would come again! Yay, veerily!
@ Little Miss- LOL, the CMOS is a dangerous thing indeed. It was Sidney who wants to go all dove-killah on me. I don’t mind it when he intercepts the doves from flying into my face, but I don’t want him killing them. But they’re so sloooow and they don’t want to move at all. They don’t want to fly away, they’d rather walk away. Stella shoves them with her snoot, that’s how oblivious and slow they are. She walks right over to them and shoves them.
@David – I’m so glad you’re a Jeebus fan. Most people don’t get that at all. You say Jeebus and they kind of ignore it. Actually, they totally ignore it. And I’m glad you pointed out that photo was from Hubble. I got it off of Google and had no idea where it originated from.
OMG WHAT A POsT!
David ~ I think it looks like Zeus or another of my space gods. Ya know they are up there zapping our asses for their own personal demented pleasure.
Wendy ~ I do see why you feel the need to protect the doves, as they have misled you into believing they are potential home invaders… I mean buyers.
I definitely can see an alien face in that photo. But don’t forget Barbara and I chased a UFO one night around town for an hour and the whole time we were trying to decide what we would do if they gave us a choice of going with them or not.
I don’t know if you read my post about the mourning dove who committed suicide on my picture window.
http://joanharvest.wordpress.com/2008/04/16/mou
rning-dove-commits-suicide-on-my-picture-window/
To be honest I had never heard of the word Jeebus. But I like it a lot. I can see myself in the grocery store on my cripple cart yelling out Jeebus Crust. They’ll just think I’m another foreigner. You don’t hear English spoken at Stop and Shop much anymore. I always think I’m on vacation in a foreign country when I go shopping.
Aww, I hope the dove you saved from the dog survives allright. It would stink to have gone through all that for nothing. Poor little thing. I hope it wasn’t his time to turn into Stardust yet. Anyway, hope the rest of your day is better that that.:)
Thank you for the Jeebus education, altho I failed to read ALL 18 entries. I agree that this is a progressive blog…
I wonder if Jeebus’ middle name is also H?
that is a hell of a way to start the day…and all that potential with the stardust-contemplations…sorry you couldn’t get it back
I told my boss during my job interview that I have the entire CMOS memorized. So rather than throw the book at people (or dogs), I just head butt them.
I love that painting …. yours?
are you ok wendy?
Did you and MBMQ decide to elope or something? I swear, it’s like everyone had disappeared from the blogging world. I need stimulus, dammit!
Interestingly, your stunt with the Chicago Manual of Style is basically the same one used by many editors with recalcitrant writers.
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation
Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Discrepancy!!