T-shirt designed by a member of Stella’s Fellas at the blog In Repair
Soooo. As utterly preposterous as it seems, and as misguided and lost as so many people have become, Stella of all people has become a media darling. That’s right, the same Stella Marie who treats me so shabbily, but more often ignores me, has been catapulted from ”oddly popular cur” to Super Popular Princess. And I still can’t for the life of me figure out WHY?
It’s sickening, I know. In a brief 24-hour period the Stella Freaks, as I’ve always affectionately called them, have re-grouped and are now legally known as Stella’s Fellas. And they’ve already chosen a uniform (see T-shirt, and add “a studded dog collar necklace and rabies tags for earrings.”).
And over at Moonbeam McQueen’s blog, plans are already underway to clone Stella and use her as an integral part of a new 10-Step Program To Becoming A Badass. 
But the thing is — and this is very telling — just look at the expression on Moonbeam’s face over there on the left. Sure she’s all ripped and everything, fully immersed in the Thug Life and this Badass Program of hers, but my God . . . she looks like she’s in a trance. Am I right? She’s all peaceful and calm and everything, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s been the victim of Stella’s mind control. And Stella is nothing if not proficient at mind control. How else could you explain this? And what exactly is this?
IT’S BULLSHIT! That’s what it is.
It’s obviously some kind of cult. Am I the only strong-minded person in Stella’s orbit, the only one who can see through her facade? The ship is sinking, people, so why am I the only one screaming?!
Everyone seems to be under some sort of Stella-induced spell and is happily joining this cult of hers. Well go ahead, you’re all adults. Follow her wherever you please. BUT SHE’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK SHE IS. She snores. And she’s sexually active . . . with herself. Her weight goes up and down like a yo-yo and she has a tendency to be FAT. And she’s moody, in my opinion. So just consider yourselves warned, all you Stella-ites. And don’t drink the Kool-Aid.
That last shot really burns my ass. I swear she did it on purpose.
Up Next: When Insane Asylums Were Known As “Nut Houses”
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Technorati Tags: humor, Life With Buck, In Repair, Moonbeam McQueen, Stella, Chihuahuas, cults, Chihuahua Cults, mind control, fat dogs that fool people, yo- dieting, media darlings, dogs, insanity
Clearly you have not seen the light. It is highly possible that Stella is some kind of interplanetary god-like figure that has come to rid the world of evil. See how she is looking skyward in those pictures as if she’s trying to send us a message?
Stella’s Fellas believe that she is white to symbolize purity and that she will soon replace the dove as the international symbol for peace.
And what, pray tell, do you have against Kool-Aid? I’m making an extra special batch of it for our annual Stella’s Fellas Christmas party. I think it’ll be a knock-out, if I’m not being too subtle.
Now, I’m going to print this amazingly hot photo collage of Stella with the roses so that I can worship it several times a day.
That dog is a delicious deity, I tell ya.
It’s NOT a cult! And I’m NOT in a trance! It’s just that Stella is captivating and beautiful, and full of sparkle. Some call it star power, some call it animal magnetism. I call it puppy magic.
http://moonbeammcqueen.wordpress.com/files/2007/10/thedastella.jpg
LOL @ MBMQ’s picture! Loves it.
@ Brian
You are laugh out loud hilarious, Brian. But realize that I am laughing AT you. True, I’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes, but I’m shaking my head with pity for you at the same time.
@MBMQ
And as for you, I am snapping pencils in half right now, that’s how frustrated I am at your refusal to see what is so overwhelmingly clear. You do know that CULT MEMBERS always say “It’s NOT a cult” don’t you? That’s how you know they’re a cult member.
Oh. My. God.
I think I’m Stella.
“She snores. And she’s sexually active . . . with herself. Her weight goes up and down like a yo-yo and she has a tendency to be FAT. And she’s moody, in my opinion.”
HA! Beth, you’re hilarious. LWB, please stop snapping those pencils. Save the forests. Stella programmed me to tell you that. And please stop laughing at Brian– he’s a sensitive clothing designer now.
I love the t-shirt ! As mean as stella can be at times , the camera really loves her ; those pics of her and the roses are a riot ! What does Timmy and Sydney think of all this attention
on “Miss Thang”?
LOL Beth!
Wendy: I’m with you. My husband had a cat that hated my guts. Our present cat was more fond of him than me at first too. She once pushed a box fan onto me (seriously). I understand, and I hereby pledge my allegience to Wendy, and I refuse to support the “other woman” by jumping on the Stella Fella Bandwagon.
@ Alyson: Thank you. Alyson knows the score, people. She’s LIVED it. And girlfriend, that cat could have killed you with that box fan. You’re lucky to be alive.
@ GardenGirl: There’s too much humping going on. And you can’t even use the hose to spray them with cold water, because the hose water here in El Paso is scalding hot . . . and it never gets cold! I could shower with that thing. No wonder all my plants are dead.
@ MBMQ: You’re confusing Brian with Tim Gunn. Brian is Michael Kors, and Stella is Heidi Klum.
@ Beth: This is the first sign of Stockholm Syndrome, identifying with your captor.
[...] voters, although I’m sure that Wendy, her owner, would chalk this animal magnetism up to her pet’s mind-control abilities. Wendy describes Stella as a real bitch, but you know, people always say that about women in [...]